at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
