she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
