My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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