Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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