Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
