return my video game
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
