Yo dont text me then not text me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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