I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
