frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
