I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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