you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dear god my vagina.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
