Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My life is pants optional.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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