Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
