I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
sex in a hospital.. check
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
