I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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