I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
