I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
