Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
