So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
