walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
