One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This is the high leading the old right now
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
