If i come over, it means nothing
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
