Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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