Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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