im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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