This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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