well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
