We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
