Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
