I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Two words: nipple clamps
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