New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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