Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
