She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize