Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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