So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
