I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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