Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
