at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
