So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
two words...techno handjob
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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