So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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