Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
