community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
