Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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