no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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