I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
