im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
