Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
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