it wasn't lemon gatorade
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
