And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
