the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
