either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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