found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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