Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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