i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
