dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just sucked dick on a ferry
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
