I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize