I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
