whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize